I cast Summon Man Rider!

SUMMON MAN RIDER

Can be summoned whenever any Summon X spell is cast.

School conjuration (summoning) [see text]; Level bard 1, cleric 1, sorcerer/wizard 1

Casting Time grab the two nearest dice, roll'em and subtract the lowest result from the highest. that many rounds. that or how ever long it takes for me to wrap up whatever I'm doing and plug in.

Components V, S, F/DF (an offering worthy of Akayle Ozph)

Range a party member close by (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)

Effect one summoned Man Rider

Duration until I have to get back to work or grab a kid.

Saving Throw none; Spell Resistance no

This spell summons Man Rider, paladin of chaos and avatar of Akayle Ozph, to any location in the Flailsnailsverse. Maybe*. If he's available, Man Rider appears on the shoulders of any character within the caster's party that the caster decides, and that character must serve as Man Rider's mount for the duration of his summoning, which lasts until either the caster dispels him or Man Rider is required elsewhere in the multiverse. Once cast Man Rider appears and acts immediately, on the caster's turn. Man Rider's mount is treated as being heavily encumbered while they serve as Man Rider's steed.

If the caster can communicate with Man Rider they can ask him to attack particular enemies or perform other actions. While Man Rider will try to act in the best interests of whoever summoned him, he is an avatar of chaos and may prove somewhat unreliable and is prone interpret requests in strange and peculiar ways. He won't fuck you over though. Maybe.

As a summoned creature Man Rider cannot summon or conjure other creatures, nor can he use any teleportation or planar travel abilities except to return to his lair in the Snails Quarter when he's got to bail. Also, Man Rider can't be summoned into an environment that cannot support him— there must be shoulders available for him to mount, and no frickin' lava.

Man Rider is currently a 4th Level Paladin of Chaos, CN in alignment, has detect order instead of detect evil, and gets a cut of XP for any deeds performed while summoned. 

*Totally depends on whether I can spare 20 minutes when you message me, but if I'm free I'll drop in to whatever G+ game you've got going. The caster MUST announce they are cast this spell before checking to see if I'm available. If I can't make it the spell fails.