Sunday, July 8, 2012

DCC: d100 Weird Urban Occupations

100 slightly more colorful Occupations for your 0-level funnel runners, written up for use over at Purple Sorcerer's character generator.

I haven't provided any racial occupations, I kinda think anyone could be any of these. If it's important to your campaign, roll here:

01-85 Human (or most common race)
86-95 Dwarf (or second most common race)
96-99 Halfling (or third most common race)
100 Elf (or least common race)

d100 WEIRD UBRAN OCCUPATIONS (with weapon and gear)

01 Sweat-milker, Wooden pail (as club), Apron
02 Muck-racker, Crusty rake (as polearm), Soiled smock
03 Slurry-runner, Staff, Thigh-high boots and sweaty rags
04 Limb-strainer, Large bloody sieve (as club), Spare hand
05 Filth-cutter, Scissors (as dagger), Leather smock
06 Wine-walker, Bottle of piss* (as club), Barrel of wine
07 Lick-spitter, Wooden pail (as club), Breath mints
08 Boot-licker, Shoelaces (as garrote), Boot polish and brush
09 Chattel-poker, Prong (as spear), Manacles and key
10 Slug-wrangler, whip (as garrote), Jar of salt 
11 Worm-breeder, Bucket full o' worms* (as club), Fishing hooks and twine
12 Snail-picker, Sack full o' snails* (as blackjack), Bag of rotting lettuce
13 Toad-flicker, Jar of flies* (as sling), Pet toad
14 Boil-maker, Scalpel (as dagger), Jar of infected cultures
15 Mud-farmer, Rake (as polearm), Cart full o' mud and broadrimmed hat
16 Scab-welder, Ritual knife (as dagger), Surgeon's bag and bandages
17 Wood-hacker, Axe, Bundle of wood and scrimshaw
18 Book-burner, Weighty tome (as blackjack), Flint'n'steel and flask of oil
19 Piss-taker, Hose pipe (as garrote), Glass jar
20 Under-strainer, Large sieve (as club), Sewer-trinkets   
21 Skin-weaver, Dagger, Leather-working tools
22 Fancy-prancer, Cane (as club), Outlandish clothing
23 Tongue-dancer, ribbons (as garrote), Vial of hallucinogenic delights
24 Stare-giver, Blackjack, Vial of chloroform 
25 Gift-taker, Hook staff (as spear), Sack o' stolen presents  
26 Crave-digger, Shovel (as short sword), Coat full o' soporific lollies 
27 Sword-breaker, hammer and tongs (as mace), bag o' shattered blades
28 Heckle-smasher, knuckle dusters (as club), Necklace of teeth
29 Weed-killer, Scythe (as dagger), Box o' poisonous concoctions
30 Slack-scratcher, Cat-o'nine-tails (as flail), Book of the law
31 Itch-pricker, Bloody big syringe (as dagger), Nettlejuice
32 Tooth-finder, Dental hammer (as blackjack), Bag o' teeth
33 Mind-blower, Peace-pipe (as blackjack), Bag o' special 'erbs
34 Cutter-sharp, Short sword, Whetstone and leather strap
35 Block-rocker, Sledgehammer (as warhammer), Leather smock
36 Slake-breaker, Water urn* (as club), Soaking rags
37 Flesh-knitter, Sewing needles (as dart), Healing salves 
38 Swoon-bender, Bottle of plonk* (as club), Aphrodisiacs
39 Flea-bagger, Sheetbeater (as club), Jar of noxious fumigants
40 Rat-chandler, Dagger, Chest o' rats and wax and wicks
41 Cat-nipper, Dead cat (as blackjack), catnip and box o' mice
42 Snog-ripper, Metal teeth (as dagger), Collection of lips 
43 Fog-bearer, Censer and chain (as flail), Box o' incense
44 Whisp-worder, Smoking pipe (as dagger), Book o' disturbing tales
45 False-herder, Hefty icon (as club), Book o' names
46 Sluice-stepper, Grapple hook, (as handaxe), Thigh-high boots
47 Prattle-corker, Ball gag (as garrote), Black hood
48 Thorn-plucker, Secateurs (as dagger), Bag o' bigass thorns
49 Shit-stirrer, Crusty paddle (as club), Galoshes 
50 Lard-slapper, Massive spatula (as club), Tub o' man-fat
51 Grub-slopper, Large Ladle (as club), Stained apron
52 Face-caulker, Whopping big syringe (as dagger), Vials o' congealing ichors
53 Gland-clapper, Long reachy forceps (as club), Bottles o' disenfectant
54 Corpse-bolter, Wooden stake (as dagger), Hammer and nails
55 Root-plucker, Shovel (as axe), Basket o' taters
56 Slop-chopper, Butcher's knife (as dagger), Tub o' gristle 
57 Slave-grinder, Flesh grater (as long sword), Bucket o' manmeat
58 Purse-biter, Curved knife (as dagger), Pouches with 3d6 coins 
59 Tramp-lighter, Torch (as club), Flint'n'steel and flask of oil   
60 Chin-wagger, Pub-darts (as dart), Pouch o' smokes and rollies
61 Gorm-brewer, Tankard (as blackjack), Barrel of ale 
62 Strife-stewerShort sword, Molotov cocktail and seditionist literature
63 Art-choker, Garotte, Tome with collection of terrible artists
64 Plot-smoker, Quill (as dart), Book of scribblings and smoking pipe
65 Sludge-kludger, Iron muckmold (as club), Filthy apron
66 Star-groper, Old spyglass* (as club),  Astrographical gazeteer 
68 Taint-stripper, Talismanic quarterstaff (as staff), tin skullcap
69 Tongue-twister, Iron tongs (as club), Bag o' hot coals  
70 Goad-worker, Motivation stick (as club), Rump-kicking boots
71 Tar-dripper, Large brush (as blackjack), Tub o' sticky stuff 
72 Bloat-herder, Flensing spade (as polearm), Chum bucket
72 Clan-sacker, Club, Sack full of sacks
73 Book-creeper, Sheperd's crook (as staff), Ledger of neighbor's offences
74 Shrine-sweeper, Broom (as staff), religulous trinkets  
75 Wit-fighter, Quill (as dart), Book of Pith 
76 Hue-chimer, Gong and Bell (as club), buckets of paint 
77 Bile-driver, Bronze rod (as club), Greasy ironwood funnel and peppers
78 Chide-winder, Brushpole (as staff), Bucket of sin-marking housepaint
79 Chug-dealer, Pewter tankard (as blackjack), Stolen barrel o' beer
80 Thug-squealer, Spoon-shiv (as dagger), Hair wax
81 Sigh-roller, Dagger, bag o' coin and anti-depressant concoction
82 Meat-brawler, Side of meat (as club), Leather apron
83 Street-crawler, Stiletto (as dagger), eyeopenin' getup.
84 Key-hugger, Dagger, Locksmith's kit and wax-imprint kit
85 Scroll-drudger, Letter-opener (as dagger), Collection of scrolls in cases
86 Number-cruncher, Hefty abacus* (as club), Pen and notebook
87 Blind-writer, Staff, Blindfold and pen and ink
88 Hood-turner, Sewing needles (as dart), Fancy cloak
89 Word-tamer, Heavy dictionary (as blackjack), Ink and quill 
90 Moon-slinker, Grapple hook (as handaxe), Rope and cloak
91 Lip-stainer, Sickle (as dagger), Jar of hallucinogenic warpleberries 
92 Horn-swoggler, Begging bowl (as blackjack), Deck of marked cards  
93 Squid-wrestler, Weighted net (as flail), Sack o' stinkin' baitfish  
94 Brain-fetcher, Trephine (as dagger), Brain in a jar    
95 Spice-muddler, Secateurs (as dagger), Large sieve
96 Beast-cocker, Whip (as garrote), Very long gloves
97 Rung-runner, Grapple (as dagger), 30' rope
98 Fuzz-crusher, Hook (as dagger), Woolen jacket
99 Pelt-biter, Skinning knife (as dagger), Animal hide 
100 Eggler, Pokey fork and tongs (as dagger), Chicken and candle in velvet box 

* 1 in 6 change of breakage on impact

With thanks to Erik, Humza, Jon, Trent, Richard, Claytonian, Chris, Dak, Christopher and Zak for stepping in when my brain died.


  1. Cool stuff Jez. I'll look to get this integrated into the generator this week, and get you the link when it's ready to go.

  2. I have no idea where i'd use this but I'm determined to make it fit somewhere