Monday, March 19, 2012

We're Here to Lick Your Toads

Ah, toadlicking.

Many thanks to all the suggestions on G+ when I thought my players were gonna get some froggy frolicking; didn't happen last week, so I took the crowd-sourced ideas and ran with them.

Each time a character goes for a bit of amphibious tongue action they must Save vs Poison or roll d12:

01. The frog tastes like cupcakes and the licker gains +d4 to one random ability, but loses the same amount from another random ability. The effect lasts for one day. However the effect is completely addictive and the licker must have the frog with them at all times or the random bonus immediately fades and the penalty becomes permanent. Additionally, each lick thereafter the licker must make a Con check; success reduces the effect by one as they build up an immunity to the chemicals, but if the frog is killed the licker is at -2 to all rolls until they procure another frog (of any kind) or 3 months of grieving have past.

02. The frog tastes like rancid dung and the licker immediately begins to suffer acute fears that monsters are out to get them. Just because your paranoid, don't mean they're not after you...  the chemicals activate pheromones in the licker's body that lure surrounding monsters like flies to shit. Immediately roll 3 times on wandering monster tables, and d6 for each monster for how many hours before they appear. All attacks will be directed at the licker unless impeded. In the meantime, the licker gains +4 Initiative for being so jumpy, and loses -4 to CHA for being so freaked out. The effect wears off in 2d6 hours; should the licker be on the move roll twice more on any wandering monster tables.

03. The frog tastes like frozen meat and the licker's tongue sticks to toad like a icy lamp post... and cannot be removed without losing the tongue as well. Over the next week chemical reactions from the toad's flesh cause the tongue to dissolve, and be replaced by the frog, which sets up camp inside the licker's gob and melds into the flesh of the mouth. The parasitic frog feeds off any food, and makes french kissing rather bitey, but it's not all bad: the frog looks after its host in what ways it can, swatting away bugs with its tongue and producing adrenalin-sensitive chemicals that grant the user +1 to all combat rolls per round for each round after the first round, up to +d4 per combat. (So 1st round no bonus, second round +1, third round roll d4 to see if the bonus goes over +1, etc).

04. The frog tastes like childhood memories and the licker is overwhelmed for d12 hours by flashbacks and lost thoughts so distracting that the licker suffers -2 to all rolls until the effect wears off. Amnesiacs gain a sudden glimpse into memories that elude them, the insights gained from reexamining formative events are strangely empowering, and the licker emerges from the experience feeling self-confident and assured. If the licker passes a Wisdom check they benefit from the insights to such a degree they receive +2 Charisma, permanently; but if they lick the frog again, the memories are stolen from them leaving them permanently confused: lose the +2 Cha bonus and suffer -2 Wisdom as the licker tries to make sense of who they are.

05. The frog tastes like sex and the licker drops an aphrodisiac straight to the brain. The licker breaks out in a profuse sweat and the overwhelming urge to mate sees them nekkid and randy within seconds. All the licker wants to do is get it on for d12 hours. The only real issue here is that they're attracted to frogs. Go swim in the genepool and see what crawls out.

06. The frog tastes like rubber and the licker's tongue is stuck to the back of the frog while strange chemicals affect the elasticity of the tongue. Pulling the frog away causes the licker's tongue to stretch up to 3d4 feet long where the frog finallypeels off; the licker now has a prehensile tongue much like a frog's and is able to retract it and shoot it out at will. The tongue is coated in a sticky film with a Strength score equal to one third the licker's Strength. The effect appears permanent, but each week the licker must make a Con check vs 15 -1 per week passed; success sees the tongue return to normal. failure means the tongue retains its elastic state.

07. The frog tastes like a nine-volt battery and the licker won't be able to taste anything else for d4 weeks, though throughout this time licker feels a growing kinship with frogs which lasts until their dying days. The licker permanently gains the ability to speak with frogs, and any encounters with frog-like creatures start out on the best possible terms. You are now part of the tribe.

08. The frog tastes like... no wait it tastes like... or it... buh... wut? The licker suffers immediate sensory transference, and the five senses get all crosswired with the wrong sensory organs. Sight, sound, touch, taste and smell are rearranged. The licker can see the aromas, feel flavours, taste noise, hear light, and smell textures, and is generally completely screwed for the next d12 hours while their brain tried to hotwire itself into making sense of it all... -4d4 to all rolls during this time BUT... the next creative endeavour undertaken - performance, crafting, item creation, whatever - is colored by the experience and is so visionary it is an automatic success of the highest possible result and then some. Congratulations, you've just invented a new art form.

09. The frog tastes like sweet mana from heaven and the licker immediately recovers d6 HP/level, feeling incredibly refreshed, rejuvenated, and slightly light headed: the licker must then pass a Fortitude Save or permanently lose one point of Intelligence, which the frog immediately gains.

10. The frog tastes septic and the licker breaks out in a sudden sweat - yellow, putrid mucus with an overwhelming stench. It gouts out of every pore, and within d6 rounds the licker is completely coated in a rapidly congealing shell of pus. Within d6 minutes the mucus forms a cocoon around the licker, with an AC equivalent to full plate. d6 hours later the shell cracks and the licker spills out; their hands, arms and legs are twice as long as before and webbed. The transformation grants +8 to swim and jump checks, and -4 to Cha. Fortunately the change is curable; to reverse the process the licker merely needs to eat the mucus shell.

11. The frog tastes like weak piss and the licker's skin turns completely translucent, revealing the macabre inner workings of their body. The licker is overwhelmed with feelings of exposure and insignificance and bursts into quiet sobbing for d4 hours, compulsively answering all questions as honestly as possible. At the end of the ordeal the licker's skin reverts back to normal, save for one small patch of skin; randomly determine where the 1d4 inch diameter window into the body is found.

12. The frog tastes like armpits and the licker has the ever-so-strange sensation that they are a toad and that the licker's companions are licking them. Unless the companions pass a Willpower save they are irresistibly drawn to lick the licker-toad; roll again on this table to determine the effect on all the companions, ignore results 3,7, and 12. Instead, the licker-toad tastes like hot chip poutaine. Their companions will stop in d4 hours or so.

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